Have you ever met someone who just seems to stand apart from other people?
Someone who had the ability to keep your attention and make you feel energized when you were near them.
What is this strange magical ability?
I believe it is presence.
It is that inductive ability to seem very powerful in yourself and yet make others feel important at the same time. The ability to make others want to connect with you and be in your life comes down to your ability to attract them.
I’ve met very few people who have true presence. Yet, when I do, it always fascinates me what makes them so enigmatic.
For years I asked myself, is it learned, or is it an inborn skill?
After many years trying to learn what makes someone have a powerful presence, I do believe that some people do naturally have a strong presence, perhaps because of the life they lead, or because of some inherent factor in their personality.
However, I also believe that presence is something that we can all develop, if we do certain things.
Here are some key attributes I’ve learned that help to develop your presence:
Have a sense of purpose bigger than yourself
People who have presence have a sense of momentum and action in their daily lives. They are moving forward, active and generative. They are full of energy that is emanating from a deeper source of inspiration, or purpose.
This sense of purpose is driven from an internal need to contribute something to the world. It might be in the artistic, political, business or sporting world. It might be in the spiritual, educational or entertainment world. Whatever it is, it drives the person from a level that is intrinsic, it is a part of their character.
What I’ve learned, especially in the past few years, is that for some reason, the more you are focused only on yourself and your own needs, the less powerful you are. When the size of the world is equal to the size of your personal problems it makes you shrink. It doesn’t happen immediately, but over time you somehow vanish into the masses.
Those people who have presence are guided by purpose, and they make the world begin to shape to their intentions. This focus is one the reasons why we feel so attracted and inspired by them. The energy they display is coming from a deeper source than we are used to experiencing.
Remove your Inauthentic Behavior
The next thing I have noticed about people of presence is that they are completely congruent with who they are. They have removed the bullshit behavior from their life. They are very honest about who they are show it to the world openly. They know their strengths and they weaknesses, and they don’t deny either.
This takes courage, and courage is a very attractive quality. I have found that this form of brutal authenticity about who you are is incredibly attractive. It is very captivating to ‘regular’ people, because most people do everything they can to hide their true selves.
If you want to grow your presence, then I suggest letting the world start to see who you truly are. Tell people who you want to be, and act in a way that is congruent with it. Take actions that lead only to the person you want to be, and let go of the bullshit that makes you like everyone else.
The more you take away the layers of falseness, the more your true power starts to emerge.
Perhaps the most obvious aspect of having a powerful presence is to simply be present.
Living in the current moment, being aware of your surroundings, and tuned into the emotions and needs of those around you is an incredibly rare experience in today’s distracted world. Most people are trapped inside their own heads, or distracted by a myriad of outside sources.
What I have noticed is that paying attention to people, being very present with them in the moment is almost like a super power. People will remember you simply because you took the time to notice them and be with them. As you develop this ability and it grows stronger you will find others are more drawn to you naturally. Other people will be interested in you, and naturally drawn towards you.