The Cost of Ambition

It took me a lot of years of being a presumptuous dick to realize that not everyone in the world is going to share my desire to push past average.

Average is ok.
Average makes the world work.
Average is always available.

What it’s taken me a long time to understand is that average is not for me. And I’m guessing if you’re reading this, it’s not for you either.

If you are ambitious, or want to be more ambitious, realize that it comes at a cost.


It’s lonely because few people get it.


Please understand, this is not some elitist statement. I mean it in the plainest sense.

Most people just don’t get why you are ambitious and want more from your life.

 Once the basics of food, shelter, clothing, partner, family and respectable normalcy are reached, most people kick back.

And at some point, they will start telling you to behave this way as well.

This is lonely at times. You just cant explain why you want more. You try to engage with them at the same level, but something is just missing.

In the end, many of the people you love won’t support you and will leave you alone to go be with other non-ambitious people. 

At that point, you have a choice whether to join them, or keep focused on your goals.


It’s frustrating most of the time.



This one is probably the most difficult for me personally. Thanks to being a rampant control freak I want things to work just like I expect. But they don’t. And it drives me nuts at times.

The one constant that comes with ambition is frustration. Nothing ever seems to be quite there, yet. There is always something else on the horizon, or around the next corner. It’s waiting for you to find it.

Frustration is a sort of fuel if you think of it in the right way. But turned on yourself it can start to damage your ability to focus. You have to learn to keep your frustration at a level where you use it, rather than it using you.


You’ll miss out on a lot of normal stuff.

I have lived away from my family and a lot of friends for over 5 years. I do this by choice because I have goals I want to achieve. On some levels, this is horribly selfish, but at the same time, I know if I moved back to where they live I would start to wither.

The place I live in is the place I am meant to be in. It suits my ambitious nature and I am surrounded by people with the same level of focus.

The cost of this is that I have missed a lot. I have missed family weddings, new children arriving and even the deaths of people very close to. I have missed countless friend and family events, all because I have ambitions that drive me and keep me away.

At some point, your ambitions will likely take you away from the normal parts of life, and you will have to make a choice to say no to normal stuff. That’s just part of the deal.

All of this might seem like complaining.

Honestly though, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am who I am and I need to keep striving. My vision and focus are stronger than ever, and the results I have achieved thus far have made me feel more alive than I could have imagined.

Perhaps one day I will mellow. Perhaps one day I will find a peace with settling for a more ‘normal’ life.

But for now, I own this reality and the cost.

dms

7 thoughts on “The Cost of Ambition

    1. Thank you for the comment Jay, so glad it’s valuable for you. I wrote it as a reminder to myself when I feel alone, frustrated or like I am missing out on the normal parts of life. At the end of the day, each of us has to make a choice how we live, and I know this is the true path for me. Sounds like it’s the same for you too. – DMS

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Very interesting. To me it is better to be frustrated in an attempt to achieve more from life than to just be comfortably complacent. 🙂 You have the choice to take that route – but you wouldn’t like it – and that’s a great thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know how much ambitious I am but I feel like frustrated when I don see work done is not proper, so many of my colleagues misunderstand me and I don’t say Yes till I get what I expected. I am really feeling lonely but I want my Dream come true. I don’t know to where it leads me 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And I feel like giving up sometimes but I can’t… I am very much addicted to what I am doing and the path I am following… To be frank I feel like completely alone in this world… 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rohith, thank you for the honest comment. I know first hand how tough it can be. My suggestion is to keep focussed on who you want to be, and the people you want to be like. Try to spend more time with people who are where you want to be, or at least on the path to it, the same as you are. The loneliness is sometimes caused by moving away from those who aren’t going in the same direction. You will find new friends and peers along the path to your dreams. Stay the course my friend, you are getting there! – DMS

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