This past weekend, I saw an amazing video from Transformational Comedian Kyle Cease.
He was talking about the way we feel hurt by other people, and how we are actually creating the hurt. He explained that nobody can really hurt you, they can only hurt a past version of you.
I might be paraphrasing a little, but I believe the idea he shared is profound.
The past story of you is what carry around with you all day everyday. Whether you realize it or not, it is a huge influence on how you live your life today.
Let me give you a personal example. For many years during my childhood I believed I was a shy person. I was told this by adults around me, and after a while, I started to believe it was my story.
Because of this story of being shy, I behaved as a shy person until well into my teen years. I didn’t have many friends, girls weren’t very interested in me, and I was a pretty miserable kid.
When I was 15, my family moved cities and I needed to change schools. I decided that since nobody knew me at the new school, that it was time to make a change.
My first week at the new school, I started small just by saying hello to people every day. I aimed for five ‘hellos’ no matter what the response might be. To my surprise most of the people I said hello to actually responded. Not only that, they asked my name and who I was. I explained I was the new kid, and I was saying hello. Doing this every day for a few weeks suddenly brought me a new group of friends, and a new way of seeing myself: I was now a connector.
What eventually happened was that within two years, I was voted as a leader of my class and became well known by most of the students in my school. My story changed from being shy to being a person people could depend on to be friendly and open. This all started from a small change in my present that completely defied my past story.
You have a lot of these past stories about yourself as well. You might be shy like I was, you might be bad with money, or a bad singer, or something else altogether.
Whatever label you give yourself, that is officially a past story. If you are remembering it now, it means it doesn’t exist in the current moment. For that reason, you can change it.
If you want to be more confident, begin telling yourself a new story that you feel your confidence growing. If you want to be better with money, tell yourself a new story that you are starting to understand how to manage money.
Initially the past story of you will fight against your new story. You will freak yourself out on the inside. Yet soon you will find it will begin to align with it instead.
Your past story of you is like a set of outdated software programs that you’re attempting to run your life with today. None of them are accurate, all of them are based on the past.
Your past story just ended. Who you are now, in this moment, is a new version that is ready to be whoever you want to be.
It’s time to tell yourself and the world your new story.