You might be reading this and thinking ‘why do I want to read about getting rejected?’
Nobody wants to be rejected on purpose.
Yet the truth of life is that it happens. If you want to do anything of worth in your life it’s gonna happen to you. A lot. Probably ten times as much as you think you can stomach.
If you want to find a good relationship, you’re gonna get rejected or dumped a few times.
If you want a successful career, you’re gonna get turned down and overlooked a lot.
If you want an extraordinary life, you won’t fit into the world you were born into.
Having been fired, dumped, turned down for jobs, and losing high-level contests, I can attest to knowing the sting of rejection.
Here’s the big lesson: Getting rejected is truly a good thing. It may actually be the very best thing that can happen to you. This is because rejection ejects you from the situations that aren’t going to help you become who you’re meant to be.
However, if you are currently at the point of being freshly rejected, here are a few tips that have helped me move through the pain.
1) Say thank you immediately
Believe it or not, I learned this from Oprah, who learned it from Maya Angelou. As soon as you get slapped in the face by life, immediately say thank you and be grateful. This is because gratitude is a higher order emotion and it lifts your spirits. It gives you power and control and shifts your perspective.
Also, you will notice that the shittiest situations you’ve faced in your life often become your most valuable lessons, or give you the inner strength to grow to a new level.
2) Look for others who have overcome this same situation
Chances are, whatever you are going through, someone else has survived it and flourished. This is a good thing to remember at the time you feel rejected. A rejection is a temporary circumstance. It is like losing a battle. You haven’t lost the whole war unless you decide to give up.
Look to those who have been through a similar defeat and ask their advice on what they did and didn’t do when they went through it. Gather strength from their having survived, and know that in time you too will rise again.
3) Notice how the rejection is making you stronger
When you go to the gym and workout, you are actually traumatizing your muscles. When you rest, your body repairs itself and adds an extra level of protection. This is how muscle is built, and this is how you become stronger, fitter, faster.
Any rejection you experience is doing the same thing. It is making you more resilient, smarter and wiser. You would not have the lesson you just gained from the rejection if things had all worked out. The key is to ask yourself how you are getting stronger or smarter as a result.
These three ideas have helped me to bounce back and become stronger from rejection of all different types.
It is important to remember that rejection is only a feeling. Yes, it hurts. But the feeling of rejection only lasts as long as you stay at the same level.
As soon as you start to focus forward in a new direction, then the rejection becomes a past experience and loses any power over you.