Do you hate family and school reunions? 

Do you dread running into someone from school, college, or a past life?
 
These are the awkward situations where you are forced to talk about what you are doing now in life. And inevitably you have to face that you are not quite where you wanted to be.

While everyone else seemingly has a great career, appears financially successful, is in a great relationship, and generally has life figured out, you’re somehow stuck.

The reality is that nobody’s life is as good as it seems from the outside. Yet, when you compare yourself with others your own age, it can still feel like you are behind in life.

If you feel like this, it’s likely you are a late bloomer in life.

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What is a ‘Late Bloomer’ in Life?

What is the definition of a ‘late bloomer’ in life?

A late bloomer is someone who has yet to reach a place in life where they feel fulfilled or like they have ‘made it’.

They are likely not fulfilled in their career, not in a relationship that they enjoy, or at a place financially that makes them feel secure.

According to Wikipedia, late bloomers are people ‘whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual’. Sometimes the term can refer to a child or adolescent who develops slower than their peers.

Adult late bloomers are those people whose talent, ability, or success only appears later in life than normal. Late blooming usually refers to people who are over the age of 30, and can extend to people who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and even older.

The great news is that if you are a late bloomer, you are in good company.

40% of People Feel Behind In Life

This feeling of being a late bloomer is more common than you might think.

In fact, a research project by Mint.com showed that most people feel behind in life in a specific way:

4.8% of people perceive they are late in starting a family

6.3% of people feel that they have not met the right partner

8.2% of people think they are behind in owning a home

9.8% of people believe they have not accomplished enough in their career

10.2% of people feel like they are behind in achieving financial stability

Add all these stats together and it’s close to 40% of people feel like they are behind in life compared to their peers.

If almost 40% of people feel behind in life, clearly this a problem to do with pop culture, and societal pressure that we all somehow fall into believing. 

What Age Are You Considered a Late Bloomer?

While there is no specific age that makes someone a late bloomer, it seems that the generally accepted age is somewhere after 35 or 40 years old.

It seems that most people think that life should be settled and have some structure by our mid-30s, even though we all achieve success and fulfillment at different ages.

Many people seem to think that life becomes more serious and focused after the age of 30 when most people will choose to settle down. This settling down seems to include things like having a career path, being in a stable relationship, and being able to support yourself financially.

Famous Late Bloomers Are Everywhere

Even though the media loves to focus on young success, there are also a lot of examples of people who ‘make it’ in life at a more advanced age.

Some of the most famous late bloomers, such as Morgan Freeman, Martha Stewart, and Julia Child were all beyond the age of 40 when they achieved mainstream success.

The story of Harland David Sanders (better known as Colonel Sanders) has become legendary, as he opened his first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants in his early 60s.

Another famous late bloomer was Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known as Grandma Moses who began achieving success as a painter at age 78.

The reality is that late bloomers can be any age that we choose to label them. And even those who never achieve outward success still can offer a lot of valuable insight from their life experience.

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The Illusion of The Average Person

Another big mistake in our thinking about early achievement is that nobody wants to be worse than average.

But what is ‘average’?

How do you measure your success in life against the average person? 

As author Todd Rose explains in the book The End of Average, “From the cradle to the grave, you are measured against the ever-present yardstick of the average, judged according to how closely you approximate it or how far you are able to exceed it.”

Think about it, who exactly is ‘average’?

Nobody fits the exact mold, even though we all have traits that are mediocre, and aspects of our lives that are better and worse than others.

The risk of believing that we need to measure up to, or exceed average is what causes us to feel like we are somehow behind others.

The Fallacy of Young Success

The world and media today seem infatuated with stories of people who achieve success at a young age. We all read stories about tech billionaires, star athletes, or young movie stars and musicians who have achieved worldwide fame.

The reality is that while the allure of early achievers is interesting, in reality, it is very unrealistic for most people to expect.

“Being seen as a potential late bloomer was once a mark of vitality, patience, and pluck. Nowadays, more and more, it is seen as a defect”, explains journalist Rich Karlgaard in his book Late Bloomers.

According to Karlgaard, the vast majority of people do not succeed early in life, yet we put a huge emphasis on those who somehow manage to do it.

Most people do not land their dream job or find the perfect life partner straight out of high school. In fact, the idea of an early bloomer is extremely unrealistic for most of us.

We glamorize the outliers like Steve Jobs who became a millionaire at age 23, and Mark Zuckerberg who managed to reach billionaire status by the same age.

Early success for young people is easy to glamorize, but it can also make us have a skewed perspective of reality.

To think that we could or should have the same level of success at an early age makes us feel horrible about ourselves.

The fallacy of young success is one that we all choose to believe in, even though it makes us miserable.

Signs That You Are a Late Bloomer in Life

If you are not yet where you want to be in life, the chances are you are a late bloomer.

The good news is that no matter your age or life stage, you still have time and a lot of potential. 

Here are some of the ways that you know you are a late bloomer in life.

Late Bloomer in Your Career

Despite having been in the workforce for a few years, you still haven’t found your “dream job” yet. You might have tried a variety of roles, but nothing has felt like the perfect fit. You’re still exploring options and trying to figure out what truly excites you.

You may also find yourself reporting to people who are younger than you, and who seem to have more qualifications or career success than you.

Despite not yet having conventional career success, you’re building your unique path. Maybe you’re not as interested in following the traditional career ladder but want to find success in unconventional ways.

Late Bloomer in Relationships

You might have had a few relationships that you thought were perfect but ended up causing you a lot of pain. Or maybe you feel like you are perpetually single and can’t seem to find the right person for you.

A lot of people who are late bloomers have a challenge finding the right partner or having a rewarding romantic experience.

The reality is that this is more common than you think. Most people have a level of dissatisfaction in their love lives, and many people, even if they are in a relationship, are not sure that they have chosen the right partner for them.

Late Bloomer in Your Finances

Another area where people feel like they are behind in life, and might be late bloomers has to do with finances. Many people feel like they do not earn enough money, or that other people their age are more financially successful than they are.

Being a financial late bloomer might mean you must take extra time to improve your situation. You might need to devote extra money to savings, retirement income, or learning how to better manage your money. But this additional effort can reap dividends if you are consistent.

What are the Six Strengths of Late Bloomers?

According to Rich Karlgaard in his book, Late Bloomers possess six strengths in life that give them an advantage over those who experience early success.

The six strengths of late bloomers are:

Curiosity – the ability to look at the world with more interest

Compassion – seeing the struggles and pain of others with empathy

Resilience – knowing that you have what it takes to fail and keep trying

Equanimity – the ability to stay calm, composed, and even-tempered no matter the situation

Insight – seeing how something is valuable and impactful

Wisdom – knowing what matters and acting more prudently

These are all hard-won abilities that each person must develop over many years of experience. The benefit of being a late bloomer is that you are able to call upon past experiences and knowledge and use them to your advantage.

The Benefits of Being a Late Bloomer

As a late bloomer in life, you have a lot of advantages over those people who may achieve success earlier in life.

Very often those who are able to experience early success can feel like they have ‘peaked’ in life, and no longer feel inspired.

In contrast, if you are a late bloomer, your best years are still ahead of you. You are likely still driven to succeed, and life is much more interesting than for people who have already settled.

Here are some of the benefits of being a late bloomer:

• You feel more comfortable in who you are. You’ve taken the time to figure out who you are and what you believe in. You’re more confident in your individuality and don’t feel pressured to conform to societal expectations as much as others.

• You have experienced a lot of self-growth. Due to not having immediate success, you have had to keep learning and growing as a person. This struggle helps you be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses and to keep improving yourself.

• You’re comfortable with not having all the answers. You’re not afraid to admit when you don’t know something. You’re open to learning from others and embracing challenges.

• You’re focused on your own journey. You’ve learned that comparing yourself to others is a recipe for frustration. Instead of just obsessing about financial and material success, you’re more focused on your own personal growth and development.

Perhaps most importantly you have learned that you must be patient with yourself and trust that you’re on your own unique path. The rewards of living a unique life are deeper than just trying to succeed like everyone else.

Valuing Who You Are

Remember that being a late bloomer is not a negative thing. Despite society’s obsession with young success, it is not realistic to expect for most of us. The majority of people take decades (and usually a whole lifetime) to find their own meaningful form of success.

If you have not ‘made it’ in conventional ways, that means that you’re taking a different path than the majority.

Embrace your unique journey, and enjoy being a late bloomer. Most of all, trust that if you keep exploring, and keep growing, you will blossom in your own time.