For many years, I studied a lot of successful people, read a lot of personal development books, and tried as hard as I could to emulate everything I could.
It seemed to be that somehow I would always reach a peak where I couldn’t go any higher, and then I would start to regress. I couldn’t really figure out why this was, because it seemed like I was doing everything that I was supposed to do, according to the instructions and examples of others.
Finally one day it hit me.
The reason I was peaking out and not going higher in life was because I was trying to build a life on somebody else’s terms.
I was trying to emulate the lives and behaviors of what I felt were successful people. I figured that what had worked for someone else, would work for me. In fact, what I should have been doing was figuring out what worked for me.
What I realized is that inside me is a blueprint for becoming the best person I can be. All the ideas, knowledge and mentoring in the world can only take me so far. At the core of my life must be my own sense of judgement and my own way of doing things.
This is a hard choice to make. We all have responsibilities and a person that we have chosen to be based upon the expectations of others. What we have actually done is add things onto ourselves. Like extra layers of clothing, we keep adding more and more ‘stuff’ onto ourselves.
True success, I believe, comes from doing the opposite. You stop copying others, and you make your own version of successful living. You listen from the inside and are guided by your own intuition and sense of inner confidence.
This is what I call ‘daring to be who you are’.
It might be one of the scariest things I’ve ever attempted. But what is interesting is that the more I trust my own judgement, the more the world is giving me better results. I am finding ways to have breakthroughs and success I never imagined simply because I am daring to be who I am.
You will reach a point in your own journey where you can no longer depend upon the advice, insights or experience of others. Instead you will need to look inwards and tap into your own potential, your own sense of power, your own genius.
The longer you wait to become who you are, the harder it gets.
Don’t delay any longer. It’s time to let go of attempting to achieve the success of others.
Dare to be who you are.
I like this post a lot. It seems so simple to say “dare to be yourself” but it is so darned hard to do. It’s a bit of a catch 22 because it requires confidence, but that is exactly why we try to emulate others, to gain the confidence to be ourselves. It’s taken a lot of years for me to finally believe I am enough just as I am. Thank you for putting it into words.
Barbara, I am so glad to hear that this resonated. Honestly I have been writing this particular post in my head for perhaps 3 months. I had the idea half formed and was testing it out in my own life… I really think there is something valuable to stripping away other people’s versions of success and looking inward for your own version. Thanks for sharing the journey with me! – DMS
Nice post Daniel. A problem with many self-help books is that they are, in essence, a reflection of the authors journey. For the book to have any success the reader needs to have the same Mindset, skill, values, beliefs, and opportunities. The reader begins a journey of replication and not one of responsibility.
Defintely agree Davy, its so easy to get trapped into thinking another’s way is your way, the best or the only way!
I loved this post. Thank you! It took me a long, long time to dare to be myself. The man that I now call my husband, Al, helped me immensely with that. I was in an abusive relationship for four years prior to meeting Al, and I morphed into a different person that I didn’t recognize by the summer of 2010. Now, I’m loud and proud to be me!
That’s awesome Laura, so glad to hear you are doing better. Be loud and proud! Be you!!
Some point in my life I have to be able to admit that I am being charged with denial. I feel like I’m not going to be in a Successful Career or graduate from College. Oh what? I’m beating myself to the ground. Well today I decided to take charge of my life. I’m beautiful and smart. I will motivate my brain to better understand the World doesn’t really evolved around me…..
Thanks for sharing Saimua, whatever you affirm to yourself is what you give strength to, and what eventually gives your strength. Keep on your path!